| Sorry it took so long..... |
[Apr. 28th, 2006|01:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here | ] |
So i never update!
I have two more weeks of student teaching left. I did not like kindergarten as much as i thought i would. But, it was still a good experience. Hopefully i have a job teaching fourth grade in scott county. Everybody cross ur fingers. the pay is excellent.
My job at fishtales is going so so right now. The money is sucking, and ive had to take some time off because i had that spinal tap. Long story but it sucked.
I have less than two weeks before my 21st bday. Im super fricking excited. I will post plans on here, as soon as i decide exactly what im going to do.
i wanted to go to ky for a talent show thing,i went to it last year when me+benji first started, but the timing sucks. but benji knew how much i wanted to go so i think were going to attempt to work around it. = )
everything is so behind, it seems. My house is messy,my work isnt done, clothes arent hung up. I feel lost. But it will get better soon, i hope.
i have to take the praxis tom, ugh, its too early. but then that will be it, except for the portfolio, and i fricking graduate. YAY...lol..May 20th. EVERYBODY COME!!!... id like to have a party after that too..any excuse to hang out i suppose..
i have had a little drama, found someone new to despise...it never goes too long before i find somebody..i dont like this girl for the usual reason, which is dorky i suppose, but i would hate her anyway i think..shes such a princessy rich bitch...believe it or not, i think i liked the other one better, at least under different circumstances, i would have thought she was an alright person...im such a hater...lol
oh, btw, i did post some new pics on my pic page....so everyone go check it out...
but im heading to bed, got school in the morning, sigh...getting up early sucks butt...
Love yall,
Meg |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|01:33 am] |
Well, its been an amazing week...its so good to smile and laugh and live again....im glad i got over all that negative crap! And to think the whole time it was all in my head!
i pick up my cap and gown in a couple weeks, and thats exciting but scary as hell..i have no idea where i want to be next year, or where i want ot live, but i got to grow up and decide soon, and thats just slightly overwhelming!..but i sure am glad as hell to graduate!!!
speaking of college, Benji got into Morehead, which is absolutely fantastic. I have been encouraging him since i started talking to him to go for it, he needs it. He has so much talent, and hell never be happy with nething but music. I couldnt be more excited or pleased for him, even though hes moving =(
He needs this more than i need him around, and that matters more than nething.
teaching is awesome. Most days i love it more than nething. Getting up early is a bitch, and working six days in conjunction sucks, but the actual in the classroom interaction part is amazing. There is no doubt in my mind that this is what im supposed to do. I love my kids, and they seem to really like me. The bad part is that i move from fourth to kindergarten in a couple weeks, and i quite frankly dont want to go. I love my class = (...
But, yep its late, and im exhausted. Had some umm, strenous exercise time earlier, lol. I miss talkign to some of yall, so leave me msgs, call me or come see me at Fishtales, im there bout every day.
Love yall,
Meg |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2006|11:28 pm] |
Things are looking up which is nice..im making it a point to be positive..i do still appreciate prayers though.....it got real rough there for a while, but mostly i was jsut busy and overwhelmed...my life is actually pretty awesome = )
By the way, ive alreayd started counting down to my 21 bday, May is going to be the best month ever. dont expect to have a coherent conversation with me that month...lol
And for those select few who know what im talking bout,Lol,part of me wants to sing out loud, Ding dong the witch is dead..but i know the bitch is never far away...maybe one day shell end up driving herself compeltely crazy, instead of just everyone else...
i know im hard to get in touch with lately, but i just wanted to write a bit to let yall know im still alive..and I still love all of yall, and miss every single one of my friends! Itll get better!
Love ya,
Meg |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|11:58 pm] |
thats the best part about love....the knowledge that you have someone in this world to love u no matter what, someone who will be there if u need them, someone to be yourself with, to relax with, to cry with, to laugh with..that no matter what path u choose in life, no matter what steps you have to take u will never have to walk them alone...
i wrote that in this very same journal about two years ago. It makes me sad. I wish i knew what that felt like nemore. Im ready to be in love again. = ( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|10:47 pm] |
but on the brighter side of life, i had a good day till right now..me and beth went out to bristol..ate at logans, had a crazy ass waiter but still...then we went to the mall and such..it was pretty awesome..she has her nose pierced, which kills me bc ive been wanting mine for like a year now..so we went to find a piercing place..rode all over bristol looking for one..finally found the one we were looking for and couldnt go in bc beths not 18..lmao..life sucks..ill get it soon though..
ive been practicing my keyboard some..i cant believe benji went out and bought that for me for xmas..hes been real nice lately..prolly kissing my ass..lol...but honestly weve been gettin along nice...im glad hes finally letting me take pics of him,lol..theres some nice ones on my pic page...
i talked to nick last night and i think weve finally decided to patch things up..im glad ive missed him like crazy...although he did stand me up for lunch at monterreys today...tsk tsk..
my neck hurts..and my back is still hurting super freaking bad...NEVER try it on the bathroom floor, no matter how drunk you are or how many ppl are in the living room..it was good but ive been paying for it for days..
so i got a guinea pig, named him Jimi Pigg...hes great but i think hes lonely..benji agrees that we should buy him a gf..but then well have babies..but even jimi needs to get laid...lol...so i guess thats on my todo list too.
but yeah im going to go play video games, and try to forget that im in a horrible mood...
love ya
Meg |
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| Happy New Year |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|11:36 pm] |
So, new years was great...but i had too much fun..spent half of work on sunday still being drunk and the other half with a hangover...lol..but it was worth it..we had about ten ppl here or so..nikki got to come out for hte first time in months..and benji had some friends over to play music with..
everything is going pretty alright right now..i do not want to go back to school...
but neway, dont have much to say..but i did post new pics...so everybody go look at those..lol.. photos.yahoo.com/meg_chs_2003
love yall,
Meg |
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| Almost done!! |
[Dec. 13th, 2005|01:28 pm] |
So, I went to my very last class ever last thursday..now i just have one more exam ever, and im freaking done...im so ready to graduate...student teaching next sememster has me pretty stressed though..
its been a stressful couple of weeks....lots and lots and lots of homework..bout killed me...plus im poor now....aint gettin any hours at work...i need another job desperately bad...
nikki might have her baby this week which is exciting...i am so ready for it....im gonna steal it...lol
hmm...thats bout all thats been happening...me and benji had a movie night last night, watched both xmen movies...got along great..it was nice...
well, im off, me and nick are going to kingsport, well that is if i can ever motivate him to move....sigh...boys suck..lol..
Meg |
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| Back to Living |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|10:09 pm] |
So, Ive been sick as hell for the last three days...mom wants me to go the dr tom..i prolly shoudl, but im not..i decided it was all mental, so im going to go back to living, if i still feel shitty friday, ill go to to the doctor..
i freaked out earlier...prolly freaked benji out too..wish i could turn back time sometimes...im such a dork..
btw, let it be said that i have an absolutly darling bf..he has stayed with me hte last three nights....took care of me completely..he brought me food earlier and is comign back in a lil while to check on me..
it was so sweet, last night i woke up at like four feeling like crap..so i get up and wander around..he hollers at me, so i come back to bed..i tell him im sick and cant sleep, so he wraps me up real tight, and whispers, tell me what i can do baby, and ill do it...awww....it was great..
so now that ive made everyone else throw up too....im gonna go..
Meg |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|12:07 am] |
My stomach is killing me...sometimes i so hate it so freaking much..
i prolly have a date tom..= )..its me and bens six month anniversary monday..imagine that, its so hard to believe.
i didnt sleep hardly any last night, and now im exhausted...but on the other hand...last night was pretty damn amazing ;)
its been a long time since it felt like that..it was the way it was in the very beginning of us, and it was pretty wonderful...although i dont know if i could handle all that every day, way too much of a workout..lol..
got almost all my xmas shopping done..just got to find something for jess, pick dads up from the store, and get benjis...i know what hes getting though, so it wont be too hard...im glad im done early...
but neway, im bout to collapse, if i dont die from my stomach first ugh...so its off the bed...
Meg |
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| im soo lazy!! |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|05:34 pm] |
So, im currently in the process of skipping geog class. I dont feel good, my tummy is being a bitch. So, im laying out.
Lets see, its been a long week. Tuesday was moms bday so i went home instead of going to benjis gig. There will be 8000 more of em im sure so its not a big deal. Went out to eat with the fam. Benji said i wasnt going to see him, but he lied. He showed up at like 12 something, which is a nice suprise.
Yesterday i went to bristol with nikki, bought a couple xmas presents. Im so far behind on xmas, sigh. we ate at red lobster = )...it was super nice but also super expensive, lol. Then we went ot the theaters to see saw 2. wasnt as good as i wanted it to be, but it wasnt all that bad. we came home and i stayed at her house for a lil while till her johnny and corey got there. Shes so cute, i hope i look that good when im eight months pregnant. I also hope i dont find out netime soon, lol.
i had class this morning, sigh. Then i went to see nikki at work, and then to fistales to talk to missy and crystal. After that i went to see benji at the studio. hung out with him for a while. He was in a pissy mood as usual, wish ppl would just leave him alone. All she does is start trouble, sigh. But he was nice to me.
He said wed try to go out sunday. Mon is our six month anniversary, it seems like soooo much longer sometimes. But we aint been out on a date in a while, so that should be fun.
well im gonna get off here, sheena is supposed to call me in a little while. we might go see the mauraders while the boys slave away at the studio, suckers..lol...
meg |
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| I got my money!!! |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|01:45 pm] |
So, i finally got it..my big ole 1200 dollar refund check...im super freaking excited..now i have more than plenty of money for xmas and me and everything...its so freaking great..
went to the dr today....weve come to a definite diagnosis, im on permanent medication...i do still have elevated thyroid, but i was told it could be bc of my birth control..so maybe thats fine..but i aint going off birth control...i dont need no babies right now...ill just steal nikkis
Benji went to the dr with me today...he drove of course, since i have tons of probs with driving..lol..we had fun, went to ihop to eat..i was super freaking excited, been craving it forever....it was sooo good..they were busy though, and there was only one waitress bc everyone else called in, i felt bad for her..she forgot to put in these ppls order and they were pissy...benji left her a good tip though...
so, now im here, excited as hell bout my money..ill prolly head over the store to see ben some more in a lil while, then its off to work which sucks...but, i have all day sunday off..i think im going to go to church and then out with nikki, then come back here and cook a big ole meal for me and hopefully benji...i love to cook....
meg |
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| Me again!! |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|10:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Don't Cry by GNR | ] |
So, its a new record..im updating again..lol
I feel so much better...i really think ive figured myself out and the whole weitght of thinking im secretly insane is compeltely lifted...i really was worried about myself for so long, but i think i know whats been wrong with me all along, and i know how to fix myself...i feel so relieved..so happy
so its a sat night, and im spending it with just me..which may sound pathetic to all you other ppl, but right now to me it sounds like heaven...ive thought about alot, took a long bubble bath, and read a couple chapters in a new book by one of my fav authors...and its nice...ive missed spending time with me...as silly as that sounds...benji is with his pals, probably getting drunk off his ass, but thats good..he both needs and deserves that....
Ive realized that i like benji a lil more than i thought...and maybe that sounds means to those that dont understand, but its not..its just that we have a unique kind of relationship, and im ok with it...but i realize that he means alot to me...hes different that most guys..we have this really mature relationship where hes not jealous of me, and he doesnt stress out about me leaving him, he just wants me ot be happy...i can have every ounce of idependence that i want, and he respects that....hes got this really great way of making me feel secure..and if he read that then hed prolly shoot himself in the head, bc secure is prolly the last thing he thinks i feel...i pester him with all kinds of questions that he prolly cant stand all the time..lol.but deep down i truly feel like hes got my back..like no matter how crazy i am, or how much of a immature girl im being, or how depressed i am, he will be there for me..and hes not leaving me anytime soon for any little reason...he takes care of me, and spends all kinds of time with me, and honeslty all i think he wants in return is that i dont make him feel trapped..and im ok with that...
he said hed go away with me..which if he knew him youd know what a big deal that is..he stays busy, and hes always got soemthing to do..but hes agreed to go away with me and stay in a lil cabin in hte middle of nowhere for days and just humor me...i think that will also be a little bit of heaven...
but neway, enough about all that mushy stuff...im going to go make some hot chocolate and read some more of my book..sometimes life is nice = )
Meg |
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| WOW |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|07:35 pm] |
I feel lost..i feel lost in my own life..sometimes i wonder how i got here, i dont think i want to go back though...its crazy...
everyone i know is married, or pregnant, or both or at least engaged...it makes me feel so grown up...but i dont think im ready for that...i spent the last three years pushing myself towards some goal that frankly i dont even know how i got..i dont know why im graduating early..i think its just because everyone expected me too, and one thing i know is i always do what everyone expects of me...so in less than a year, i will be a college graduate, an elementary school teacher..im exaclty where i decided i was going to be at this point in my life, funny it doesnt make me happy like i figured it would..i feel scared, and rushed, like maybe ive grown up too fast and i dont knwo how to slow everything down....
i have a chance at my dream job, ive heard some things, but now i dont know if i want it..i want to teach, i know that...i dont understand how i could do nething else, but i dont know if i want to go home...i love my home, i love my family, but im so tired of doing what is expected...i would love to run away somewhere, where i know noone and i can be exactly who i always wanted to be, start over..but im too scared..im too scared to do nething except exaclty what everyone expects me too do...if i go home, what do i have there?..ill spend the next bazillion years of my life seeing the same ppl i always have and going to the same places i always have, and ill never change..ill be trapped, and im starting to feel trapped now just thinkig bout it...
i have to graduate though, i cant spend the rest of my life working at Fishtales, although i am so freaking sick of school that sometimes i fantasize about quitting school and workign full time...but then again i also fanatasize about quitting everything and sitting in a cave by myself and wasting my life away, at least i wouldnt be so freaking stressed out..
i have a stomach thing, and stress makes it worse..i have these beautiful little blue pills that are supposed to make everything so much better, and sometimes they do, but sometimes it still hurts, ive quit telling ppl aobut it though bc it seems to make everyone so much happier to think that the problem is solved forever, me on the other hand, ive decided im going to be sick with something for hte rest of my life, so basically ive given up hope..
ive given up hope on a lot of things...ive given up ambition, hell ive frankly just given up...i cry alot, my insides just seem to hurt, like i might explode at any second if i dont get rid of all this inside of me but i cnat get it out..i cant explain to anybody everything that is going on, bc everyone that i could tell wont understand..even benji...hes good to me..he helped alot last night when we had this big converstation, but not even he knows all of it..i cant tell him, it wouldnt end up good i dont think..so basically i suffer...i reallly at this point dont know what else to do....i guess thats why im spilling my guts to some stupid internet sight...
i feel overwhelmed, like i always have something to do, and everytime i stop to breathe all i can think about is hwo behind i am..how lost i am...i wish i didnt feel like this..i mean dont get me wrong, im happy sometimes, when im with friends or benji..but that doesnt mean that it isnt still there, in the back of my mind...i like benji so much..i really do...this relationship is so mature in ways that i never imagined...but still, i know its going nowhere...im not trying to be mean when i say that, i mean i just know...hes not hte settling kind..and its not even that i want to be settled, i dont...for once im aware of the fact that i am totally not ready for that situation...but i also know that somwhere along the way my heart is going to be broken...and sometimes its hard to be okay with that...but ive come to terms with it i think...id rather lose it then never have it...
i dont know nemore..i dont know nething...like i said, basically im lost in my life...and its scary and it hurts...but i think ill make it through..ive made it through more difficult phases.... |
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| Nothing Much |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|11:59 am] |
So I havent updated in forever, which isnt unusual bc i rarely ever update this thing..
its new sememster. i have three education classes, two upper level history classes and an upper level poli sci class this semester. its alot of work. i have like seven papers to write and like six presentations to do. its so overwhelming. but hopefully only one more year to i graduate now. im so excited, but then im just going to get my masters, so ill be in school forever, but its worth it.
umm, i got a new job. I work as a waitress at Fishtales. I love waitressing, but the tips at Fishtales arent so good some days. And i get alot more ppl who dont tip me at all. Tha makes me so mad. *sigh* I work more than i used to, most of the time four days a week, and almost always ALL weekend. But, i needed a job and now i have a job, so im thankful for it.
Me and seth are doing really great right now. I had been going through a hard personal time and it put strain on us, but we are back to perfect again. Its so great, i havent been able to stop smiling the last few days. He is so absolutely wonderful. I love u baby!!!
Valentines day is coming up. I know what im going to get for seth, now i just need to get it together. Im excited bc i really think hell like it. I hate that v day is on monday though. I have nite class and im sure hell have to work, so it will be nothing like it was last year. Last vday is still one of my very fav memories ever. But, it will still be good bc seth is my valentine and that makes it perfect.
Another important day thats coming up is our 19 month anniversary. Man, that seems like forever, but some days it seems like weve been dating much longer than that. Im excited bc each anniversary gets us closer to our two year and that REALLY excites me.
Well, not much else is going on. Me and Seth were trying to plan a vacation but it aint go so well. Bridget said we could go with her an Izz to Cape Hatteras so thats an option, well see what works itself out. My fam is going to Texas to see my grandparents but there going for two weeks and with my summer school and work theres no way we can go on that vacation. Oh well.
Well, neway im bored with this now. So im going to go lay around, maybe call mom and see how here job interview went.
Love ya,
Meg |
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| Bored |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|05:03 pm] |
Hey guys,
So i havent updated in forever so heres a quick recap:
Let's see, me and seth went with bridget and isreal to the cabin.. It was tons of fun...I ended up fallin a couple of times..lol..just couldnt seem to stand up *wink wink*...But we had a blast, went shopping, played in the game room, soaked in the hot tub...I REALLY didnt want to go home..i really needed that weekend...
But i had to go home, TO EXAMS..ugh..But i did well i assume. At college you never know what ur exam grade was, but i ended up with all A's so im guessing i did pretty well...
Since ive been home for christams ive seens seth every single day. Its been great. Im so attached to him.
My christmas and christmas eve was *wonderful*. Spent both of them with Seth. Christmas Eve we went to his house and exchanged our gifts. We spent waaayy too much on each other. But it was worth it. I got my *RING*. It's so beautiful. I absolutely love it. Seth is going around telling people were engaged. Hes such a silly head.
Christmas morning i opened gifts with the fam. And then seth came and we went to his mamaws and grandads for christmas. His fam is so nice, but it made me really miss my mamaw.
Umm, I lost my job. Ruby B's closed down and now im just out of luck. But im going Monday to try and find another waitressing job. I love waitressing.
I kinda miss my old job though. It made life easy and i loved the people. They made me cry when i went to pick up my check. They are so sweet. Im going ot miss them.
Last night was New Year's Eve. Seth had to work but i went to his house after he got off work. We got a pizza and watched That 70's show that i gave him for xmas. Then we watched the ball drop and his mom and ethan were still up so we toasted each other with "wine". Best of all I got my kiss. Second year in a row.
Me and seth spent all of 2004 together. It was a good year. Somtimes it was really hard, but it ended well, very well. I like where i am. And I love my bf.
Well im going to go kill sometime before i have to go see seth on his lunch at FC.
Happy New Year guys
Love ya,
Meg |
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| Happy Thanksgiving!!! |
[Nov. 23rd, 2004|09:53 am] |
Hey guys,
So its been a long couple weeks. Being sick sucks. And had a little bit of the good ole drama going on too, but things are starting to clear up i suppose. Im glad break starts tom, although i dont really need break to rest and relax, I need break to catch up. You would not believe how much work I have to do, I am so freaking behind. Procrastination does not pay kiddies. There is ur tip of the day.
Tom is officically my catch up day. Im going to try to get my science porfolio and my education journals finished. If I can get all that finished then I will be well on my way. After that I just have a poltical science paper and a sociology research paper left. Yes i knwo that seems like it would be a lot, but really those are the least of my worries right now. I am simply that behind.
Thursday is Turkey day. I reckon ill get up early and help mom cook. Seth is coming over after her gets off work to eat with us. Im excited bout him getting to spend thanksgiving with me. Sometime I have to make a pumpkin pie for seth to take home to his family.
Friday, me and Beth are going shopping. I reckon will just go to Norton/Wise and look around. Go out to eat and then come home and rent some movies. Good ole girls day out. Im looking foward to it.
I don't know bout the rest of the weekend, but seths got to do price change so ill prolly send saturday day and sunday wiht him. Im sure ill work saturday nite..I always do.
then we have 2 weeks of school and exams and then i get a whole month off. Im excited. Although i will miss hangin out with seth alone. Nothing really meant by that, its just good to be able to snuggle and lay around without being distrubed all the time.
but neway, that was update, and prolly the only reason why i eve updated was bc i didnt want to do work. but im going to go do something, prolly end up back in bed since class was cancelled and i dont have another one till 12:30. I wish i had known class was cancelled before i tracked all the way up the hill in the rain. Sometimes college sucks.
But neway,
Love ya,
Meg |
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| Hey yall!! |
[Nov. 17th, 2004|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sound of That 70s Show on tv | ] |
Hey,
Shew, im feeling so darn sick. My throat is killing me, and my ears hurt, and my head and chest are congested. I feel like im going to explode. I did feel better when seth was here. But then he had to go to stupid ole FC. I hate FC. He was so great to me. He brought me medicine this morning so I would feel better. He has to be at class at nine in the morning and he still stopped by this morning and got it for me. Then he offered to get everything for me today, and best of all he laid and held me and gave me lots of kisses. He takes such good care of me. = ).. I absolutely adore my bf.
He was telling me today about something on sarahs journal. About what it said and how he commented. I went to look but she had deleted her journal. It sounded so stupid. Evidentally someone left a link to a photo of her on the website that Seth had take last year as an FBLA officer. And someone had commented back and said that the reason she was smiling so big was bc she was dating the person that took that pic and she liked him so much more. Thats crazy. Me and seth have been dating since July before his senior year. That kind of makes me mad. But i guess it just proves what Seth, me and others have thought all along. She is still in love with him. Kinda feel sorry for the girl. Hes a great guy, and i understand how hard it would be to get over him. But its getting a lil pathetic when its going on two years since they broke up. I just wish she would move on of my sake. Im so sick of her being part of my life. I mean hes my bf and if she wants everything to be over, shes going to have to stop talking to or about him. I mean really, shes not getting him back. Seth said that when he commented back on her journal. So maybe now shell get over the idea.
Right now life is kinda bleh. Between being sick, and the whole sarah thing and all this school work im behind on, i feel so stressed and annoyed. I cannot wait till December. December will be absolutely awesome.
First of all, school ends. Shew i hate school. Its just so much. Im totally looking forward to a break. Second, me and Seth are going to the cabin with Bridget and Isreal. It should be absolutely awesome. I really really can't wait.
But the absolute very best thing about December is Xmas. I get my *RING*. I am so absolutely excited. I cant wait to see what it looks like and have it on my finger. I want it more than nething..lol.I know im being nerdy but it means alot, hopefully the beginning of forever for me and Seth. I am so darn excited. I love my baby!!!!
But neway, I just updated bc im bored. I cant really talk, and im so tired of just lying in bed. I need to do some homework, but I really just feel like crap. Sigh..
well im going to go do something else.
Love ya,
Meg |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2004|05:31 pm] |
"Holdin' You"
I dont need whiskey to drown out the pain
Or some old umbrella to hold off the rain
Dont have to cross over a river of tears
All that i need is right here
Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together
You know lifes a freight liner on
A runaway track
But ill take the ride knowing
That youll bring me back
No fates too uncertain no distance to far
As long as your here in my arms
Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together
Whenever i hold you tight
This crazy world of mine falls right in place
Whatever the trouble is
You find a way to give back what it takes
Holding you holds me together
When holding on gets just a little to hard
When this tight rope i travel
Begins to unravel and i feel like
Im falling apart
Holding you holds me together
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today has been a long day...in some ways its been a hard day....
And i listen to that song..and i realize the truth behind it...all i need, all i want is seth...
i realized a while back how far gone i am...how impossible it would be for me to try to turn around and walk away from this relationship...a life without him is one of the scariest things i could imagine...there is nothing he could ever say or do that would make me leave...hes all i want...
Its scary in ways, to realize how dependent on him ive became...but not scary in the sense of past relationships...im not scared of losing myself or scared of what i might be missing..im scared bc i realize how devestating losing him would really be..
not that i have any ideas that that will actually happen....things are good..very good..
we have problems, all couples do i think..if we didnt fight i would be more scared...real love isnt perfect, sometimes its downright ugly...but its always worth it always..
seth is the most amazing person i have ever known...i dont know what it is about him..what exactly makes him so irresitable to me, but all i know is i would give everything i have, everything i am, even my life for him in a split second..and i have never really been able to say that bout another person before...
i feel so completed when he holds me, i feel so perfect in his eyes..ive never had someone who knows me so completely, sees every side of me, every bad mood, every insecurity, every fault i have, and still looks at me like i am the most beautiful, wonderful person that ever existed...ive nevermet someone like him who understands me...and even if he dont think every thing i do or feel is necessarily logical, he understand thats who i am, and he forgives me my silliness and we move on...
having him is a sense of security i only dreamed about...we have had some problems in the past i know..but when he tells me he loves me, i feel it...i know when i need him, hell be there, when im sad, hell hold me, when something happens, hell listen..hes my best friend, but so much more....in so many ways hes my everything..
weve moved to a new level in our relationship...i feel it...we are a team now...we make decisions together, and share everything together and simply fit together...
all i know, is i have never found nebody in my life that i needed more, that i wanted more, that i loved more...i have never found another person who connects with me like he does, another person who complements me like he does..and i dont think i ever will...i will love seth forever....i know that in my heart...i dont know if that forever will be spent together, but i do know that this is special, something i will never forget....
seth, baby, i love you more than i could ever write..and you mean much more to me then ive described...all i know is i need you and i am so blessed to have you...you are the most wonderful person i have ever met and you treat me better than even i could ever have imagined....i love you baby, forever!!!
well, theres a good ole sappy entry..
Love ya,
Meg |
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[Oct. 4th, 2004|01:29 pm] |
Homewrecker
(Gretchen Wilson/Rivers Rutherford/George Teren)
Well you're a real hot cookie with your new hairdo
Your high heel boots and your credit card
Long legs and a mini skirt
Yeah you know what works and you work it hard
You smile like such a lady innocent and sweet
You drive the men folk crazy but any girl can see you're just a
Homewrecker
I know what you're doin'
You think you're gonna ruin what I got but you're not
Yeah you little go getter
I'll teach you a lesson
If you get to messin' with my man
You don't stand a chance
No,you're just a Homewrecker
I'm sure you wanted for a long,long time
To find a man like mine
But honey you're too late
So before you go and make your move
Maybe me and you should get a few things straight
There's two ways we can do this
I'll let you decide
You can take it somewhere else
Or we can take it outside you little
Homewrecker
I know what you're doin'
You think you're gonna ruin what I got but you're not
Yeah you little go getter
I'll teach you a lesson
If you get to messin' with my man
You don't stand a chance
No,you're just a Homewrecker
Now honey I'm a Christian but if you keep it up
I'm gonna go to kickin' your pretty little butt
Is that clear enough yeah,yeah little
Homewrecker
I know what you're doin'
You think you're gonna ruin what I got but you're not
Yeah you little go getter
I'll teach you a lesson
If you get to messin' with my man
You don't stand a chance
No,you're just a Homewrecker
I love this song..its so funny...lol..
Meg |
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| An update |
[Sep. 21st, 2004|12:08 pm] |
Im such a slacker on updating..lol..the truth is i dont really need this journal much nemore....i feel like just maybe ive outgrown the whole thing..but for old times sake..
Classes are going pretty good...this is the like the pressure week...i have been so unbusy the last few weeks and now it all hits me at once..thats honeslty the one thing i hate about college is all the professors get together and plot to have all the darn papers and tests etc. in one week so they can officially drive us nuts...sigh, thanks goodness im ahead of the game...and ms bullion putting off the sociology test REALLY helped...
i need to get on the ball with this TEP application though..i have it all filled out im just too lazy to take all the different forms to all the differnt places..sometimes it feels like being a teacher takes an act of Congress...its so silly..i mean ne person who wants be nething else can screw up all they want to but we have to go through a strict screening process, which i am not worried about..im just lazy..
me and seth are doing awesome..were working on 15 months...it seems like a lifetime to me though..i get to see him about every day except for some weekend days when our work schedules will simply not coordinate...i feel confident about us bc it feels like every time some obstacle presents itself we overcome and become even stronger...hes important to me in ways that i dont think i even understand...all i know is hes a vital part of my happiness, and that i would give just about nething for him to be happy too...
work is okay...its work..i mean i like most of the ppl i work with, most being the key word...and generally i have fun talking with customers and employees and such...i like having a job that requires me to be a people person...i like meeting new ppl, esp the older folks who are just so darn sweet...soem days i get frustrated..some days i would even venture to say make me want to reconsider my employement..but i think all jobs are like that..and as jobs go mine aint bad..
I love my roomies here this year, well im still pissed at whichever one of u ate my cookie dough....but other than that..lol...i really like living with bridget which may seem weird to some ppl bc we have had so much drama in the past...but i think all along we could have been friends, but some ppl, and im not mentioning names bc i dont want to start crap, created the tension and the drama...but i love her to death and shes the best roomie ever...
i have decided to weed the drama out of my life..so i simplified my life...i weeded out the situations i didnt need to be in, and the ppl who caused those..if i suddenly no longer talk to u its prolly bc u would a leading cause of trouble in my life and i decided to no longer pretend i appreciated u.. i have alot less differnt ppl in my life now, and thats okay bc what i do have is quality and happiness and thats just fine with me..
well, im have to go to political science class now..and its hte most boring class ever...sigh....i hate upper level courses.....
love ya,
Meg |
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